it has been a very long while since I did anything on this site, but I need a place currently to let stuff out so here it goes. Tonight I had the privledge of taking care of my grandmother. For those that don't know, she is dying. At 92, she lived a good life. I can remember her being at every birthday party, prom, graduation, everything. I have the greatest memories of being at her and my grandpa's apartment when my older brother and sisters would go away to Victory Valley. We would go over and swim in the pool and drink rootbear and sleep over. She and my grandfather would give up their bed for me and my sister and they slept on the pull out while we slept in their room. I remember going to Pinebrook with them, you always wanted to ride with them, they had a tape player and they gave us cheesecurls. I remember Weds. Night meals with them. Every weds. from the time I was a baby up until about 10 years ago, she would come over and cook dinner for us. Not hotdogs and hamburgers but pork roast, mashpotatoes, corn, broccoli and of course cheese sauce. We also always had a special desert. It is these memories that I am so desperately trying to hold onto. I try not to remember her how she is now, not knowing who anyone is, unable to take care of herself. For the first time, I am allowing myself to cry for her. I know she will sson be in the the Lord's presence and be able to sing with the angels there and praise our God forever. Even though I know her faith was strong and I  know she is going to a better place, it doesn't negate the feeling of loss. I will miss her, when I would come home from college ( when she could still get around) if I left my jacket out, she would come with her hand and swack my backside until I cleaned it up. I remember her and Jon dancing in my kitchen and just being silly. These are the memories that I desire to hold... well thanks for listening. It just feels better having gotten it all out. Pray for our family during this time, it is a heavy burden on all of us

Feeling better

woot